Once a Hyderabadi, Always a Hyderabadi

Note: You will enjoy the write up more if you are familiar with Hyderabad/hyderabadi Hindi.

My friend called me and said ‘ticket lene ko hona’ trying to make fun of the hyderabadi Hindi I talk in. It was then I realized the humor and personal touch in hyderabadi Hindi. Hyderabad is known for many things; Biryani, Pearls, bangles, IT etc but two things that stand out are the hyderabadi language and culture.

Talking about our culture, we are very laid back people. We love to do things with patience and we also love to boast about every small thing we do. We love our morning tea and the gossip that goes with it. Basically we love to talk. Anything and everything is talked about in detail. Every small thing calls for a party. Anyone who buys even a new set of clothes is asked ‘party kab hai’.

For every big or small thing we just say ‘light lo yaaro’ (take it easy) and we actually take things easy. Hyderabadis have this penchant to come up with killer, bollywood style dialogues even at the most mundane situations.

When we say ‘I will just come’, it can be 2 mins or 2 hours too :-). We have our own Hyderabad Standard Time which ranges from anywhere between 1-2 hours after the fixed time. For example, you call us for a wedding at 7 Pm we’ll be on time at 9 sharp :-). Never try to call us and ask where we have reached. The answer will always be ‘yahi paas me hoon abhi 5 min me aatu’ and we might have just started from home.

Another very common word we use is ‘Parso’. Actually this word means day before or day after but for us it can be day before, week before or even month before. Anyone who bought a new car 6 months back will say ‘parsoich liya car ye’ (I bought it day before).


Now comes our language. As we are laid back people we do not complete the sentences and give a personal touch to the language. Hyderabadi Hindi is a mixture of Urdu, Hindi, English, and Telugu. We do not complete the sentences in hyderabadi. It’s more personal and extremely informal. For example, if you want to ask someone where they are going you would say ‘kaha ja rahe ho’ in normal Hindi but in hyderabadi it would be ‘kaha jaare?’ It’s Simple. No extra words.

We say ‘hau’ for haan (yes), nakko for Na (No). We tend to change the pronunciation of words; especially English words. For example school is iskool, forms is faram. This applies to the names of the places too. Necklace road is naklis road, market is markit, and most common is ‘Amrica’ for America. Any one who comes from abroad has either come from Amrica or from foren.

Best is the way we mix English in our Hindi. We will not say tickets nahi hai; we’ll say ‘ticketa’ nahi hai. Just add ‘a’ to any English word and that’s English plurals in hyderabadi for you. Shirta (shirts), schoola (schools), phona (phones), busa (buses) roada (roads). Not only English, hyderabadi blends in all the languages.

There is lot of Telugu influence too on our language. You go to any primary school in Andhra Pradesh and you can see the kindergarten kids shouting loudly to Yell, Yem, Yen, Whoa. No it’s not the native language but they are practicing their ABC’s and the above example is pronunciation of the letters L, M, N, O. I still remember I had a manager (from a town in Andhra) who had a ‘Getz’ car and said I will sell this ‘getj’ and buy a ‘Benj’ (yes he meant Benz and Getz with a Z as in zoo but he always said ‘benj’ with j as in jug. He used to call himself a ‘no-lej-may-nay-jer’ (knowledge manager).


We hyderabadis love our Biryani, our language and our city. We love our spice and do not mind mixing pasta with mango pickle which ever part of world we are in. Do whatever; make fun of us, laugh at us, or just have a hearty laugh at our conversations; no one can change us. Once a Hyderabadi, always a Hyderabadi.

You have to live in Hyderabad and blend into its culture to understand the warmth of this place and its language. Once you have lived here you can identify a hyderabadi in any part of the world.

Some Pursue Happiness. Others Create it :-)

I was going through the self help section at a book store recently. It had books on everything right from talking to strangers, feeling confident, making friends, and more than a dozen titles on being happy. Here’s my two cents on being happy.

Firstly, do we need a book to know how to be happy? Happiness is a feeling which comes from within. It cannot come by reading books. No one else in the world knows us better than ourselves. Only ‘We’ know what makes us the happiest. For some it is the latest gadget while for some it’s the best jewelery. Some people even get happy when they get the food they like while some others find happiness in success. Some of us get a thrill out of creative effort while some of us find happiness in our family or friends. It’s totally up to us to realize what makes us happy. Some people can earn Rs10 a day and sleep happily while others earning 10,000 a day might not be happy. It’s just our state of mind.

One thing common among all the people on earth is Pursuit of happiness. Someone rightly said “What we want from life is continuous and genuine happiness”. We all have only one motto in life - to be HAPPY. Some want to be successful to be happy, some want to be rich to be happy while some want to be famous to be happy.

Since childhood, we have known happiness as a conditional feeling. For example, as a kid, if you got a new toy you were happy. Slowly it graduated to good marks, good job, good pay, nice family….. We learnt to get happy on conditions. If I buy a new car I will be happy. If I can buy a new house I will be happy. Most of the times we relate happiness with things that have not happened.

We human beings have this common habit of forgetting the joys and remembering the bad times. We never ever think of being happy with what we have. I don’t say that we should not pursue success, money, fame or love. I just want us to remember the reason why we want success, money, fame or love. We always see happiness as something that will happen tomorrow. We forget to experience it today. The desperation, need or anxiety to achieve the means of happiness does not let us find happiness around us. There is no secret for happiness which we do not know or which a book can tell us. Everything is within us. We should learn to look inward for happiness. Care for people around you, try to make someone happy, and try to enjoy the life you have. Be grateful for what ever you have and you will be happy. Don’t relate happiness with future. It is in your present.

If you are already happy, your attitude towards your goals changes. You are more confident in your approach. Be happy that you have friends and family to share your sorrows. Be happy that you have not been struck by a calamity or tragedy. Be happy that you have a good home to live in and good food to eat.

Let us start being happy with ourselves first and other things will come on their own. Happiness does not need any investment. It just needs a mindset that we are happy. Being satisfied and happy gives you the feeling of joy and bliss which I guess is the ultimate aim of our every action. Let us not forget to be happy in this pursuit of happiness.

Impatience is the New Life

‘Impatience is the new life’ says a TV commercial. When you think about the life around, the phrase seems to be true. We the new generation are focused, practical, and more intelligent but we are more impatient and in tolerant. We want everything lightening fast. For us there is no tomorrow. We want everything right here right now.

To an extent, I would say it is good but we are losing the charm of enjoying life while running after everything in life. There is no time to enjoy the hard work we are putting into making our future secure and better. We look down upon people who were born few years before us as they struggle to catch up with the new world and new technologies. Our patience levels are so low that we get bored with things in days or in few hours too in some cases. We buy the latest music player or mobile phone today and get bored of it after a week. Change is the buzz word. We want everything bigger and better and we cannot wait for things to happen. We all are running after everything so much so that we do not want to stop and see if there is a better option available with a little patience and little thinking.

We do not want to wait at the traffic signals; we do not want to wait in the queues. We do not even wait for our salary (hail the credit cards, we can shop now and pay later) to buy what we want. Maps are a passé; we want GPS systems in our cars, phones, (may be in our minds too in sometime). We want everything at finger tips and at our call. We want bigger homes and better cars. We want the latest gadgets and the best holidays. This impatience has made us intolerable to a great extent. Our wants are growing at a faster pace than the availability of choices. Amidst this run for life, are we forgetting to be happy? Aren’t we becoming more frustrated with life?

We want to get happiness out of the virtual world. We have forgotten the beautiful planet we live on. We do not want to stop by and see the beauty around us, we do not look at the rainbows anymore (I wonder if the kids today even know what a rainbow is), we do not like to find faces in the clouds anymore, we have forgotten how fresh breeze feels as we work in AC offices and commute in AC transport. We meet our friends on Face book. We change our jobs like our clothes. We have stopped putting efforts to solve things or to get out of situations. Anything that stops our speed has to be chucked out of life. We have started walking in and out of marriages like we walk in and out of stores. We do not want to understand and adjust. We do not want to give second chance to anything. We have forgotten that we human beings have the privilege of expressing ourselves, being creative and enjoying life. Lot of options does not mean running after or accumulating everything available to make life better. We are trying to change our lives as we change the channels on the TV.

We are always in a hurry. I don’t know if it is good or bad to have things at your call but it sure is taking away the excitement of things we used to enjoy as kids. Life is becoming a struggle between keeping our weights down and spirits up. We talk more to people on face book than to people around us. Everything and everyone is just a click away but yet we are not content. We are not happy with anything in life. We first yearn for everything and then want to run away from it. The contentment we had as kids is missing in our fast paced, impatient lives.

Once upon a time when life was simpler we had the luxury of coming home from school and heading out to play for hours. We would wait for 6 days to watch Mickey Mouse on Sunday mornings, we used to call up our friends or meet them to talk to them. There were no social networking sites but we still bonded with friends. Once upon a time when life was good we would wait for festivals like Diwali to eat special food prepared by our moms, we used to wait for summer holidays to play out whole day. Once upon a time we actually used to live life and not exist.

Today the games we play are on computers, we can watch the programmes we want on the 50+ channels available 24x7. There is no need for us to wait for special occasions to eat special sweets or food. All that is just a phone call away. Our impatience and the need to have things when we demand has changed our lives completely and today we just exist running after everything we see. Whether we need that or not does not matter. We have everything but we are not happy with anything. Has the availability of money, technology come at a cost of our happiness? Is that the cause of our impatience?

Recession Mania

The R word is ruling the world. Wher ever you go whatever you do - “Recession” is the latest in thing. Anyone and everyone is talking about recession. As if there were not enough problems on earth, this thing has come as the final nail on the coffin.

Almost all the companies have cut down on onsite travels, administrative cost and other perks. There are no more free lunches literally. Organizations are introducing Performance Improvement Plans and giving zero hikes or bonuses in the name of Recession. Everything has only one reason. RECESSION.


From a middle class citizen’s point of view, Restaurants have become expensive, shopping malls are empty, and food prices have gone up too. The fuel prices have gone down by almost Rs10 and still the auto guys crib for more money as it is recession time. Even the local vegetable vendor blames recession for increase in the prices. (I wonder why it is only the recession that is affecting the prices and why isn’t the falling inflation causing any price falls.) Everything is going up except my income and I too blame it on recession.


Is India really going through a recession or is it just the cold we have caught because USA sneezed? Are we just projecting a slowdown as a recession? Of course it has affected India because of the outsourcing and we too had job losses. But can we call it a recession still?

There is a difference between recession and slow down. The dictionary meaning of recession is 'two continuous quarters of negative growth' where as during slowdown there is growth but it is slow. And who says India has negative growth? The RBI is still predicting a GDP growth of about 7%.


Our banking sector is still very strong and the interest rates are still high compared to other countries. We can still pass through this recession in US without getting into it.

Of course the government is trying to make things better by reducing the interest rates, announcing stimulus packages and various other measures to pump money into the market. We can be hopeful that the various stimulus packages being announced by the Indian as well as global governments will give a boost to sectors like infrastructure, automobile, cement and metals. This will increase the business and also the ‘recession free’ politics ‘industry’ is ready to infuse money in the name of general election and that should be a boost to the economy as well.

Apart from all this we also have some responsibilities to improve the situation. We need to use our resources effectively and at the same time focus on innovation.


Recession forces people to spend less and save more for adverse situations but we Indians are not new to the idea of savings. We just need to chuck the extra credit card spending, check our expenses, promote the right things and viola we’ll be on our way out of this crazy situation. Being thrifty will surely help us get out of this slowdown earlier than others.


This is the time to capitalize on things which we are good at. Tourism is going to be hit because of global recession (obviously there will be less number of people visiting the Taj Mahal this year) but we can promote health tourism which is still a cheaper option in India with best of services available at cheaper prices compared to USA or Europe.


Agriculture is still the backbone of our economy. Let us make that stronger and leave politics out it atleast. We need to get the farmers back to the fields and the higher dollar value can get us more money for our agriculture exports.


Instead of worrying about losing outsourcing jobs we can start innovating our products. IT industry which has been worst hit due to dependency on US can start focusing more on product innovation and less on services. Once the situation improves we’ll be less dependent on USA plus we can be a major player too rather than just being the back office of the world.


Remember how India tackled the bans that were imposed by the world especially US after the nuclear tests. We became almost self sufficient in the things that were banned by other countries.


When the next boom comes, we can reap the benefits of effective resource utilization and innovation and be ahead of other economies. We surely have the talent and means to get out this slowdown without slipping into recession.I strongly feel this economic condition is just a wake up call for us to be more responsible and more cautious and to realize our abilities to drive away the recession blues.

Govinda! Govinda!

Why do we go to Temple? As for me, I go to get some mental peace. To sit quietly, away from the world and reflect on my deeds. Good or bad. We go there to have a dialogue with God about what we want or to complain about why we haven’t got what we want. We go there to reduce our suffering and to feel a connection with God. Temple is the least corrupted place where everyone is equal before God. It does not have any kind of discrimination. You believe in God so you go and worship him/her. It’s as simple as that. My last visit to Tirupati - the richest temple in the world changed my idea about visiting temples for mental peace. It actually made me think ‘Does God favor the rich?’ Yes, this is what I felt during my visit to Tirupati last month.

I had been to Tirupati N number of times and the idol of Lord Venkateshwara here makes my faith in God stronger every time I go there. I always felt some kind of divine presence there. I always felt that it is God himself who is standing there and not the idol.

Generally, when you come out of temple your mind is very content and peaceful. Even my mind was at peace but this time it was the satisfaction or happiness of coming out safely from the temple. It was a long weekend and the weather was also good so we thought it was a good time to walk from Tirupati to Tirumala. It is some 9kms and 4000 steps to Tirumala from Tirupati. I had been to this place lot of times but this was the first time I decided to walk up. Thanks to Ashish and to Lord Venkateshwara for granting me my wish so I had to walk up. I was very impressed with the route. I mean it was all covered to protect you from sun or rain. There were lots of facilities on the way to take rest for sometime or to eat. What more I could eat hot and yummy idlis on the way. The beginning of the walk was really tough for me and I really wanted to give it up in the first 15 mins. But looking at my mom’s morale I thought if she can do it I can do it too. We took our time and made it in 4-5 hours. So far so good, but I did not know that having a glimpse of God will be more difficult than the walk up.

You struggle so hard to see God and at the end what you get is a 5-10 seconds glimpse of God and that too while being pushed from all the sides. Here it was pure business. The more you pay, the more time you get to spend with God. You have to be a special donor or a VVIP to get to see God peacefully. The temple is hardly closed for 2-3 hours. Finally I found someone whose working hours were more than my husband’s. Each and every part of the temple is pure business; the security guys, the guys distributing prasadam, police men… everyone takes money and does as you want. I was shocked to see the level of corruption at such a religious place. If people cannot be honest in a temple, can they be honest outside?

Day 1 we had bought some tickets and went for darshan. I really got irritated at the way people were pushing each other to move ahead. I actually had to stop few people from trampling my mom and my niece and had to remind them that God is not running away. The idol is going to be the same if they look at it before us or after us. The best thing (yes, ‘thing’ because they move only when you put some money in) there were the volunteers or the security guys who take care of the queues. They do nothing but just stand and watch. While walking in the so called queue, I noticed a big crowd far away and my father told me that it was the free darshan line. When we came out of the temple I just asked some of them out of curiosity and they told me that they have been in that Q for more than 7 hours. We were lucky to be out in 2 hours but again it was because we paid money. Why can’t normal people have a glimpse of God peacefully?

When the authorities do not let the God rest for even 3 hours why can’t they use some of the money earned to make things better for the people who visit the temple. Even if you want to spend money and buy the few Seva tickets(these tickets get sold out sooner than the time you take to blink your eyes) that are available, they can be obtained only through some recommendation. You need a recommendation or donation to get accommodation, darshan and even some extra prasadam.

The worst plight was of the senior citizens and the disabled people. They have a direct entrance to the main gate of the temple and they have a different time too for darshan.So far so good but that is it. Once they enter through the main gate, their Q merges with the normal Q at the main entrance of the sanctum sanctorum. I just could not stand our manner less and etiquette less junta pushing even disabled people to move ahead. I was really frustrated by this time. How can God discriminate between a follower who pays 100 Rs to see him and a follower who pays 500 Rs to see him? After all the pushing I was so tired and so eager to get out of the crowd that I forgot to thank God for whatever I have got. My mom had advised me to give some money to the security guys standing there so that he/she would let me stand there for few seconds to have few peaceful seconds with God but I did not feel like doing that in a temple. Finally, when we had the darshan it was the prasadam Q. My mom gave some money to the guy who was distributing prasadam and guess what we go lots of prasadam and that too it was enough for 6 of us. While I got just one small laddu, of course I did not bribe the guy.

This visit taught me the art of self-defence. Passing through a crowd of thousands of people and coming out alive was a win in itself. I felt victorious. They were in an equal hurry to get out of the temple and there was a mob pushing for that too. You spend so many hours in the journey and come so far just to push people and make a record of getting in and out for the temple in the least time? Getting in and out of this temple can be included as a task in some adventure game show.

I wish people could understand the real purpose of a visit to a temple. I wish God was given some more rest and we could actually get mental peace in the temple and not outside the temple. There was a Q even for putting money in the hundi and there too people are in a hurry to offer money to God before you. This was my worst ever experience at Tirupati and I silently apologized to God that I will never come to this temple again unless I become a billionaire or some VIP.

Next morning when my dad asked me to come for another darshan I actually got scared thinking about the crowd. But this time we had some VIP darshan. My aunt is a donor and she has some privileged darshan with her family. So this time I was feeling guilty that even I am using a special privilege to see God. But then I had forgotten to thank God in my last visit so I went along. This time we were out in less than 1 hour after spending some peaceful time in the temple and of course with lots of prasadam. It was enough for our lunch. Thanks to my mom and my aunt and the corrupt people in the temple I got to eat some very yummy food.

But I really want to know why God favors the rich who donate enough money to spend some good time with him and people like me are meant to stand in crowd for long hours just to catch a glimpse of God. Conversation or connection is out of question. And yes thanks to my aunt again for getting us a nice accommodation right opposite to the temple because of her donation. I always thought God was the giver and I am the taker.

Anyways, I came back home safely and vowed to go back to Tirupati only if I become a billionaire or if I have a BIG recommendation with me. We definitely need lessons in good manners and etiquettes.

Winners

A blog on 'Losers' inspired me to write this blog about 'Winners'. I was able to relate to each and every quality of a loser mentioned in the blog. It got me thinking about what separates a winner from a loser and then while I was traveling few weekends back, I read a book called 'Stay Hungry Stay Foolish' and that inspired me to think what really differentiates the winners from losers. This book is about the success stories of people from IIMs who made it big after rejecting the fat pay cheques they got during their placements. Infact many of them left high profile jobs within days of joining to work on their dreams.

This is the first difference between a Loser and a Winner. They do not hesitate to start things from scratch. Even when they are in a comfortable position in life, they do not mind giving it up to get the creative satisfaction. They do not wait for things to happen. They do the things that losers wait for to happen. They don’t wait for change they make the change.

Winners follow the principle of 'find the purpose and means will follow' while we losers find the means and resources first.

Winners are always immune to the 'What will People say" syndrome. According to me 70% of India acts on this principle but the winners don't. They do not care if they leave a high designation job in a big bank to start their career in a garage based office. They do not care about this 'what will people say' clan.

While a loser is busy finding excuses that s/he has to stick to the job for her/his responsibilities, the winner is already out there with an idea, ready to realize her/his dreams without thinking about the home/car loan EMIs, rents, family, and other responsibilities. Practically, today if I am given a chance even I will not give up my job as I too have the excuse of home loan, rent and other responsibilities but then I am a self confessed loser.

Dig out any success story and the most common thing will be there was no pressure from the family or loved ones. Nobody's family ever told them that you have to get into the family business, you have to live in this city only, you have to have kids now and work later, and you have to earn at least xyz rupees per month. Blah blah blah. They all had their families supporting them. A loser always puts the blame on someone else saying'i had no one to support me', but the fact is that a winner convinces people and takes them with her/him while a loser just puts the blame on someone else. There are people who lived on their wife’s or husband’s salaries for years to make it big on their own. Winners do not have any ego or prejudice.

Their foundation is strong. Winners get into some of the best institution. (This doesn’t mean that there are no winners from average schools. Infact there have been leaders who never even went to a university. But I am talking about the majority here. Remember, I am inspired by the IIM success stories and my personal experience of observing the winners around me) this plays a very big role in anybody's life.
More than the education what the big institutions teach you is to deal with the world. They make you react very practically to the situation around you. You have friends who are ready to take risks. Your company is such that your thinking is developed. Because they study at good institutes they have batch mates and friends who are at good designations in the corporate world. Needless to say, this means a huge influential network. Winners capitalize on networks and losers use these networks to showoff to their friends/family that I know 'xyz'.

Hard work, Hard work and more Hard work is the key. Nobody became a millionaire overnight. Some of them struggled for more than 5 years to make it big and the difference here was they never gave up. They kept on putting in the hard work and waited for the right moment.

Along with hard work what separates the winners is that they do not work hard only for money. They follow their heart. Money is not the only motto. They work to make a change. Even if they do not know what to do they know what not to do.


Losers give up at the slightest pretext and winners never give up even in the toughest situation. They have the courage and patience to turn their dreams to realities. They do mistakes too. But they do not repeat the mistakes like losers.

Hard work, courage, perseverance and a right set of people around is what makes a winner what he/she is. Walking that extra mile, working that extra hour, thinking that ‘I’ can make a change and still having your foot firmly on the ground is what a winner is. We all do one thing or two of the ones listed above but doing everything together and not giving up is Winning.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.